The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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