Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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