I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
