people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
