why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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