Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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