Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Randomize
