As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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