i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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