I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it glows. i had to have it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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