do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
