Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
