You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You did what with his pubic hair?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
