Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
