Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
