Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
