it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
