with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
