if only i could text you this smell
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
