So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
