ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We are two peas in an std pod
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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