Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
