the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
