I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
