i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
