I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
