And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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