everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
