If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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