Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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