There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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