no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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