She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
