I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
