hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
