Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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