he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
