Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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