It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
