it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
