I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
