just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
