All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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