I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
