using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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