you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
