just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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