I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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