I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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