I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
