My pussy is not your playground.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
