I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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