It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
