You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
